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Say good-bye to after-parties, say hello to more-time-for sex (Lock the door! I was married for ten years, have four beautiful boys under 9 and have a very fulfilling and successful career.I’d try to spin it in a slightly more positive way, but I can’t.As a screenwriter, I don’t know if you live in LA or not, but this is a town where people don’t grow up for a really long time.

It's not about being in your 20s or your 30s or your 40s; it's about keeping it together during a living room performance of 9. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11! Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight?

I guess I must be in reasonable shape because NOBODY can guess I’ve even had four kids, or that I’m even 34 (I get asked out by guys in their early 20s- I feel like I should read them a story and tuck them into bed… we usually go on a few dates, everything is going wonderful… I’m not talking about church bells, but just to an actual relationship. I am sick of being treated like a piece of ass, and treated like I must be desperate because I have kids.

I’m tired of guys treating me like I should be grateful if they even stick around for five minutes. Do I need to be a nun in order to find someone who can actually see a relationship with me?

I got married at 35 and had kids at 37 and 39 and I was ahead of most of my friends.

There’s no way that I – or most men who don’t have their shit together – would willingly enter into a relationship with a woman who has so many other responsibilities, the way all moms do.