10 things you need to know about dating
People with Asperger’s have an intense need to do the right thing the right way. There are a million different ways people with Asperger’s inadvertently isolate themselves from the world of friendship, but suffice it to say that while people with Asperger’s have lots of depression and lots of anxiety, you’ll rarely hear them say they need more friends. The problem is that in adult life your one friend has to be your spouse.But often they fail to see what that is: Am I doing the speed limit? So if you know you have Asperger’s you need to focus carefully on finding a spouse.The problem is people need to be connected in the world to feel useful.It’s no fun to be right about everything if you can’t also be useful about what you’re right about.Memorize stuff other people with Asperger’s are unlikely to gravitate to, like the characteristics of Generation Y. Really, I have a feeling that what gave me the ability to bridge from a quirky writer to a marketable writer was focusing obsessively on Generation Y.Nobody could memorize the facts as fast as I did, and because they were all in my head I could synthesize them faster than everybody else and come up with trends.There are things you can do to make their lives better. To get along with someone who has Asperger’s, look closely at that annoying car.
Asperger’s remains a useful way to categorize people with very low social skills and very high IQ — and a high rate of manic-depression and suicide.
There are all kinds of unwritten rules we adhere to in order to not run each other over.
The Asperger car is the one on cruise control at exactly the speed limit.
People with Asperger’s understand the theoretical need for a date for the prom. They understand the concept of everyone has a house and kids and they don’t, but they don’t understand the leap you make to get there – you have to actually want to be close to one person. A lot of people with Asperger’s who are married sleep in separate beds or have sex with minimal physical contact but you need to find the thing that’s going to work for you so you can have that one intimate relationship. If you have a high IQ and low social skills it means you’re generally right and you generally don’t notice when you’re wrong.
Otherwise, you’ll get older and realize everyone is paired off and there’s no room for you to have your best friend, because adult life best friends are spouses. So life is pretty good, not for the people around you, but for you, if you can just go with that.